Another ridiculously busy and productive day is ending. This morning Aimee, myself, my brother and sister, and the boys went to Veritas, moved half the books from one POD to the other and finished clearing out the last odds and ends. We now have three things left to move, the big green chair, a couple of boards and half a dozen left-over slate tiles. I almost can’t believe how hard we worked. The books are heavy (of course), the PODs have no air circulation, and it was hot even in the morning.

I’m having a yard sale at home tomorrow morning and hoping to get rid of some leftovers. I have a few small pieces of furniture, some baby stuff I won’t need now that the boys are home most of the time, and of course some books. I haven’t ever done a yard sale other than the myriads of moving sales my parents used to put on so my expectations are pretty low. I posted the sale on Craigslist and hope that’s enough. At least I’ll be up early with a cup of coffee in hand whether or not anyone shows up. If any of you feel like dropping by, our address is 2210 Manitou Ave and I’ll be setting out my wares by 8am and happy to share my coffee if you ask nicely.

I didn’t get many pages read but I did have a very productive day yesterday. Alex and Luc and I ran a couple of errands in the early morning on the bike and then came home and cleaned out our new car. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it on here before but we got another car. FOR FREE. It’s kinda funny having decided to do without one and then end up with an extra. But this is how it went: we decided to sell the Element, listed it on Craigslist and some people came and looked at it. they were really nice and Alex turned on the charm and even thought they decided not to get it they offered us their 1993 Toyota 4Runner…for free. We couldn’t resist. Jared used to have a 1994 4Runner and loved it. Unfortunately the engine seized up one fine morning and we were left with a pretty cool looking, useless block of metal. Jared stole my car because he worked in Nampa and I rode my bike because I had the bookstore up on Emerald a few miles away. He has missed his 4Runner ever since. So now we have one, only a year older and kinda dented (it was rear-ended). It did come with about a decade’s worth of free dog hair all over it (I’m not complaining) so Alex played around in it while I used the handyman’s secret weapon, a hand vacuum, gallons of hot water and some Windex to turn it into a family car. Alex, Luc and I all needed showers after that so we took them, they took naps, I read and then Jared came home and asked for some help with J. Alexander stuff. While he cleaned the kitchen I wrote some text for an advertising brochure he’s putting together and drafted a letter and a resume for him. Then we headed off to David and MB’s for dinner which was delicious…especially the Root Beer floats!

I’m highly recommending Evelyn Waugh’s trilogy for those who enjoy military novels, TeeVee shows, and movies. It is mildly but affectionately satiric and very interesting. I like.

The Sword of Honour Trilogy by Evelyn Waugh Page: 113

I enjoyed Chesterton’s Preface to Oliver Twist (which was at the end of the book) almost more than the novel itself. It is melodramatic, saccharine, and trite. But Chesterton points out positively, as Orwell pointed out negatively, that Dickens is overwhelmingly moral. He jousts literarily with  vice, injustice and all manner of evil wherever he finds it. He is not partisan and that is most refreshing to realize. Oliver Twist was actually Dickens’s second novel after Pickwick and I think it shows him underdeveloped as a writer. Anyway, read Chesterton at least.

Waugh has made so many appearances on Everyman’s Contemporary Classics list that I’m not sure how to deal with it. I’ve enjoyed every single book so far, although the quality is uneven, but surely one author doesn’t deserve five slots in a 100 greats list. Whether there deservedly or not, I’m liking Men at Arms.

We are almost done taking Veritas to bits and should be finished up tomorrow. We still have a ton of dishes to move, a bunch of books, a crapload of shelving, and all the computers. I need to make sure I get some info off of one of the computers before we shut it down, deal with my non-functioning cell phone, have the Veritas number forwarded to it…Ack! I’m officially overwhelmed. The POD gets delivered tomorrow. And I may have a buyer for my inventory…

The Postman Always Rings Twice, Double Indemnity, Mildred Peirce, and Selected Stories by James M. Cain Page: 594

The Trial by Franz Kafka Page: 299

Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens Page: 88

Here are some of the common assumptions people have been making, stating, and otherwise annoying me with over the last week. I promise, this is not just a rant, it is an educational tool. Read and learn how your (and my) thoughtless words can come across to someone in a difficult situation.

#1 Some variation of: “Veritas must have been in a bad location/opened at the wrong time/you weren’t ready for this.”

Response: Thank you very much for summarily indicting and condemning my business decisions, I’ll make sure to call you next time I have a choice to make and submit myself to your omniscience.

#2 “You can’t do this to me!” or “Now where am I going to go for my coffee?!”

Response: I’m so very sorry that this is hard for you. While you deal with the crisis of trying to figure out where to get your next mocha, I have $200,000 in business debt to pay off. I really feel for you.

#3 “Why would you close? Things were going so well!”

Response: Yes they were going well. And we just decided to throw in the towel in the midst of prosperity. Oh, there were little annoyances like going 9 months with only about a dozen days off including the mere three days I had off of work to give birth to a child. Really I don’t understand why we are such wimps, but there you have it.
#4 “Now you don’t have to work anymore!”

Response: Umm…you do know that I have two children under the age of two right? And an absolute crap-load of books to deal with? And that debt I mentioned before? I hope to work less, like maybe 60 hours a week instead of 80 but seriously!

#5 “But what’s going to happen to the books?”

Response: I’m going to burn them…….actually I’m going to sell them, what did you think I was going to do with them? Eat them? Want 20,000 books? I’ll make you a sweet deal.

#6 “You’re just going to love staying home with the kids.”

Response: Really? Because I just love conversations carried on entirely in grunts and whines. While you’ve got that crystal ball out, let me know when I’m going to be out of debt.

And on a non-snarky note here are some photos of our adorable Alex and the new patio.

The bookstore part of Veritas is about 75% done. There are only four shelves still up (mostly because it’s been hard to find boxes for the books) and the computer, and the kiddos’ toys. In the coffeehouse almost all of the movable stuff is gone and just the coffee equipment is left. We actually don’t have to move that until the place is re-leased or we sell the equipment and that is a relief. We decided to go with a POD for our storage needs and it is a huge blessing. We don’t have to drive back and forth to a storage unit (with no car!) and they can deliver the POD to our driveway so I can deal with all our inventory at my leisure. Well, sort of “at my leisure”. I do need to have the POD empty in four months max. Wish me luck.

Also I still haven’t found my ring. Sad. What do you all think about getting a ring tattooed on?

I’m at Veritas now, waiting for a bookstore owner to come and look at some of my books. I feel like a part of my soul is dying. I don’t want to see my books in his shop. It’s sad.

I’m going through latte withdrawals. I miss Brandi and when I get here in the morning I don’t usually feel like getting everything out to make one for myself. Maybe I’m just lazy.

The kiddos have been so much work these last few days. Luc is teething, everything is upside down in their little world but I don’t know if that’s enough explanation for why they’ve both been so demanding. Alex has started projecting this high-pitched whine when he wants something or when he’s upset. It is right up there with rap music as one of the world’s most annoying sounds. We have begun to discipline him for it but it’s hard to do so out of principle rather than sheer frustration. Which is the classic parenting dilemma I suppose.

I worked on Kafka’s The Trial last night after finishing the last of James M. Cain. Neither are very enjoyable. I’m planning on reading Dickens today. I’ve got Oliver Twist.

We worked on our brick patio last night after getting home from Veritas. It is looking good! It might even be finished tonight. We spent much of yesterday just waiting for and looking for boxes. If you’ve got any, please share. We boxed a lot of books and thanks to Aimee’s help and Dave and Heather’s timely delivery of Fanci Freez, we survived!

I’ve got about a bajillion things to do…

I have read a little bit the last few days but haven’t had my book with me much and haven’t had time to focus on it. We are working pretty hard but the biggest thing is emotional exhaustion.

A few highlights:

I seem to have lost my wedding ring. I’m devastated. I haven’t had time to tear the house apart yet. I got into the habit of taking it off at night when I was pregnant and my fingers would swell. I always put it one of two places…neither of which now contains it.

If I cry Alex comes and comforts me. It’s so sweet and touching but I don’t want him to have to deal with my sadness. It’s my job to be there for him, not the other way ’round.

We are building a patio. Yes, we are doing a home improvement project while we close our business. Remember this? I guess it’s chronic. It is nice to be putting something together.

Neighbors are all using up their own bandwidth…selfish I say!

Today was a sad and tiring day. Of course getting up on a Saturday morning with my husband (instead of already being at work at 6:30), eating breakfast together and driving to Veritas together was pleasant and unusual. I love my husband A LOT. I love being with him, I love talking to him, I love talking about him. And as hard as this decision was, the financial worries (big and scary no matter what we did), the sadness of seeing a dream die, the regrets, is pretty much balanced by realizing that I get to spend more than an hour a day with him.

But back to sad and tiring…It is so hard to take something apart that you carefully and meticulously put together. It is so hard to see all that potential be forever put down. Hard to know that I won’t see Veritas grow into the thriving, bustling center of culture and commerce that I’d dreamed. I’m so sad to see it end. But I am glad that we tried. I never wanted to be that person that always talks about doing some big thing and then never goes for it. So here I am, not being her.

Here is a photo of me the week before we opened. I didn’t know I was pregnant (with Luc) yet and I had the flu.

And here is one from today…same chair, same weariness.

On a lighter note, here are two tired little boys refusing to sleep. We recently moved Alex’s crib back into his room and now he and Luc are opposite each other. Perfect for giggling at one another instead of falling asleep.

   

We would like to specifically thank:

Our friends and family for their unfailing support and encouragement. Thank you Doug for everything. Pam for helping us with the boys. Quinn for working so hard. Ditto Brandi and John. Kayla for your unfailing encouragement. Julie for you know what…and that other thing too. David and Marybeth. Brent and Aimee for buying so many books!

Our lovely customers for their constant patronage. Mike and Telara, we will miss you. Jay, thank you. LuLu and your wonderful parents! Ann. Mel. Steve (from BSU). And the other Steve (Iced Americano in a paper cup). Jack. Jennifer. Grad student from Boston. 16oz coffee with two shots guy. Vernon. Timmee. Melburg. The amazing musicians that played here. Karen. Sue. Hailey. Patrick. Bob. Liz. Grumpy, morning Mike. Kip. Deanna. Katy. Brandi’s Mom. Thanks for coming in everyday Aaron. And all the rest of you who’s names we don’t know but who’s smiles we remember. We only wish there were more of you!

Our vendors for the wonderful products they supplied. Aimonetto, your service is amazing. Barefoot, it was wonderful coffee. Eagle Coffee Roasting, thanks for all your efforts. Zeppole and Le Cafe, we love your food! Mike Sowers, thanks for the pottery. Sparkweb for keeping our IT working.

And a huge “Thank You” to Brandi for her faithful service, cheerful attitude and AMAZING barista skills. I will miss my lattes!

If you have any unfinished business with us, the phone is still connected and we will be answering it. 208-345-8670

Jared and Mandi.