Day Two Hundred and Sixty Seven
This Side of Paradise by F Scott Fitzgerald Page: 200
Fitzgerald’s style is unusual and surprising. I hadn’t expected the variations of mode or the easy familiarity. I don’t remember The Great Gatsby employing any of these techniques. Still, good book, and very worthwhile. I like novels about education or coming of age.
I could use a few tips from other stay at home moms about how to manage. I’m feeling very tired, very fed up with satisfying needy little people and very unproductive. Some mornings the patience is all gone by 7am. Winter is starting to scare me…taking them outside has been my standby remedy…
I started yet another blog today. This one is shamelessly mercantile. There you can purchase stuff from Veritas. I’ll be putting up posts with pictures of items from the old bookstore and coffeehouse along with prices. You can pay via Paypal, just post a comment and send the money and it is yours. So go check out the post mortem at RIP Veritas.
September 24th, 2008 at 6:48 am
Just a little reply to your request for tips from stay at home moms….
I am home with six kids and my dear 75 year old mom who has lost many of her abilities due to a stroke. Their is no shortage of people with needs!
(Oh, and we also have dogs….)
The one thing I can say is that you must keep your priorities organized. Those humans with needs are your top priority, and you are the ONE who can meet their needs with love. Do that first.
An hour spent goofing around with them on the floor and filling their tanks will be the most well invested time in your day.
For us here at our house, we have cut out many extra-curriculars….particularly when we had a tiny baby and a Grandmother (who was , at that time, bed-ridden).
I have no regrets about whatever might have been lost outside the house that year. We have been blessed greatly through our service to the old and very young, and even as I am really weary much of the time, and I look shocking some days, I know that there is more value in “serving much”, than in “accomplishing much”.
All that said, I have to also say the two little tiny kids is tough….I think that six children is much easier. I found that year that you are now in to be very challenging. Love then a lot, and it will get easier and easier , little bits at a time.
September 24th, 2008 at 6:49 am
Spell check is a marvelous invention when we remember to use it…..
September 24th, 2008 at 7:58 am
That Veritas site is so morbid…but a brilliant idea nonetheless!
September 24th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Mandi,
I think you just manage, honestly. There’s no magic pill, but accepting where you are right now and doing what little things you can to maintain sanity will definitely help. I am, obviously, home with four little ones, so it’s hard to find the time to recharge. But I still manage to grab my little moments alone, even if it means coffee with a girlfriend at 6 AM! It helps me to identify myself again as an individual, a person with thoughts, feelings and needs- vs. “Mommy” who constantly meets the needs of everyone else. That’s my two cents… Hope it helps.
September 25th, 2008 at 5:28 am
I have just one little one and I get feeling overwhelmed a lot too! For moms, there really is no time off–even if I have a baby sitter, I’m still thinking about my baby and hoping all is ok. Survival is just enjoying the little things. I don’t think it’s alway supposed to be fun: Fun is not guaranteed. But we know it’s worth it in the end! I second what the others have said.
September 25th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
My first two were very close in age. I had an advantage over you in that we had been childless and infertile for years, so when they came, although it was a lot of hard work, it was also like a party everyday because I was just so incredibly over the top thrilled to have them. (Actually I am still thrilled about all three of them; they are very wonderful. We recently added another son, and he is very wonderful as well.)
We lived in Minnesota, the land of forever winters, and I did not have a car during the day. It was dangerous at times to take little ones outside in that climate, so I can sympathize with the walls closing in. We did not have any relatives in our area, like Grandparents, to help us out.
I tried to keep on a schedule for eating and sleeping and napping and other activities. We borrowed huge stacks of library picture books and had a great time reading books together and snuggling on the sofa every day. We had really fun Fisher Price toys and made up outrageous stories and played for hours down on the floor everyday. A real life saver for me was that the church down the street had a daytime moms Bible study. It helps to spend time with other moms. I also had an older woman friend from church who called me every Sunday night and prayed with me over the phone. It sounds like a small thing, but it was a very big thing to feel loved and cared about like that. Many times the tears ran during those calls.
We were just barely squeaking by financially. Looking back, we cannot believe how strapped that we were. Every dollar counted, literally. One time my in-laws gave my husband shoes for Christmas because we couldn’t afford them, and his shoes had big holes in the bottom of them.We couldn’t afford a babysitter, but once a week my husband watched the kids on an evening, and I went out for three hours, usually to the library, and then to McDonald’s where I got an ice cream cone. He generally looked like a limp dishrag when I returned; he does not care for babies. To this day, I thank him frequently for doing that for me. I have many women friends with husbands who would never humble themselves to serve their wives in that way.
I had a subscription to a home based stay at home mom’s magazine which really helped because it made me feel valued, and it was written by women just like me. I had a pen pal from Michigan who was a stay at home mom. Again, they were very small things, but it helped during those hard, lean times.
Also, having an exercise bike or a workout video can help to relieve the stress quite a bit, as well as just inviting other moms (who have vehicles) to come over for a visit when you are lonely.
This is an area where the church can really help to strengthen families by having Titus 2 ministry to younger moms.
I have a great book that might encourage you as well. It is called, What’s A Smart Woman Like You Doing At Home. I think that part of the struggle with staying home is simply being serving your family anonymously, and feeling undervalued by society.
I hope that this helps. I pray for you and Mr. P. everyday. You are on my heart.